If everything is fine, why am I discontented?

Not really, sad, you see; but not terribly pleased with the way I spend my days and where I spend them. We've never been ones to settle for 'just okay'. We've always had something to do and somewhere to be.

Our trip to Hawaii with Mom was a good trip; with a little glitch as she was ill for two days and didn't fully recover until we came home. We enjoyed the island, Bruce thought the diving was great, the volcano was fascinating, and the differences in topography and vegetation made you wonder if you were really on just one island. Changes in elevation were portals into new regions and if you closed your eyes for 10 minutes, you would think you had made a wrong turn. The temple was beautiful, of course, and we were privileged to hear a fireside presented by Steven Kapp Perry and his wife, Joanne. They were great. I could definitely spend more time in Hawaii.

After coming home, we started right away preparing for our garage sale which is scheduled for this Saturday. It makes me uncomfortable to see how much 'stuff' we have that we don't use, how much money we've spent for it, and how little we'll be able to recover in costs. But it does somehow feel good to get rid of things that just crowd our home and our lives. We've finally been able to discard items that, even though they are still in good shape, we can now admit that we'll probably never use. And if we find we need something we've thrown away or sold, we can either do without or replace it. Garage sales should be a form of cleansing, but right now, as we continue to price items and organize the tables, it just feels like we've wasted so much of our time and money. And we have already decided that this is just the first garage sale - there will be at least one more, because we simply ran out of steam and time going through the house.

The next project is to get the office cleaned out; old papers destroyed and filing caught up. Not too much fun, but another cleansing of a sort.

Why is it that I cannot be happy doing art or beading or writing until I feel as though all the work is done or caught up? That darned work ethic! And when I allow myself an hour to do something I want to do, it's always late at night when I'm already tired. Somehow I need to change this. That is my goal: to be able to do what I want, when I want, and not have it interfere with what needs to get done. Perhaps it's only a pipe dream, but we must have those dreams to keep ourselves going!

It may come as a surprise to some, but we are thinking of moving again. Those who know us will merely shake their heads with disdain. We just can't seem to stay in one place. Or maybe we haven't found that place that makes us stop and stay. As the economy and the nation face new crises everyday, we are driven to find a way to get off the "grid" and be more reliant on ourselves for things that a couple of years ago didn't seem that important. One thing that has become increasingly more important is the weather. Growing up in Oregon, we just accepted the weather for what it was and worked with it. Living here in the sunshine has been a real treat most of the time, but the cold, snowy winters and blazing hot summers are starting to lose their appeal and for some reason, we don't think we should be required to deal with it anymore.

Amy has gone away to Pennsylvania to work as a counselor at a rich kids summer camp. The culture shock of dealing with people from around the world who look at the world differently than she does sent her reeling at first. I think she's landed on her feet, but I don't hear from her very often (no cell phone service at the camp and she's limited on her use of the computer for e-mails), but the few times I have spoken to her cause me to re-think our view of Scott finishing school here. When you wish to keep safe from the water, there are two ways to deal with it: stay out of the water, or learn to swim. We have always been from the "learn to swim" club. I worry that Scott, living in Logan almost his entire life, won't be prepared for a life anywhere else.

So if our next post says we're moving to New Mexico, Arizona, Texas, or Hawaii, don't be surprised! (They are all in the running).

Profound Thought for the Day:

Why do we put up defenses against the whole world when one person does us wrong? Are we expecting that because one person wronged us, now everyone we meet will trample our trust, abuse our hospitality, and walk over our love so that they can claim success in crippling our faith in humanity and destroying our self worth?  Don't you think that gives that one person a little too much power?  Don't let the pains of the last person you've met on the street interfere with the promises of the people you have yet to meet.

--Amy Henderson